Above is a news article I read about a woman by the name of Gina Ford, who has written a book, which says that women should have sex as soon as possible with their husbands/partners after they give birth, because the husbands feel left out!!
Hello??? Have we honestly gone back in time, have all the women's rights movements been forgotten in one foul swoop. Has this woman even had a child?
I have had three children, and believe me when I say, you don't feel much like having sex after you give birth.
*Sorry to any male readers, it's about to get gross*
I can't speak for cesarean patients as I only had vaginal births, but let me tell you just how that feels.
First, your vagina stretches to four times it's normal size, if you are lucky you wont tear, but more often than not, you have a tear on the area between the vagina and anus. Which stings every time you go to the toilet. Your stomach muscles hurt worse than any exercise like sit ups could provide, you have all of your 9 months of periods at once, your hormones are bouncing around, one minute your laughing the next your crying, your boobs are so sore, that the slightest touch feels like your about to have a heart attack. Your legs ache from your hips down to your calfs, and when it comes to that time to do your first poo, you just would rather have someone reach in and pull it out rather than sitting there having to push again. You have doctors and nurses constantly prodding and poking at you, checking your tears if you have any. If your lucky and didn't need stitches, you just have an incredibly stingy cut, but if you do need stitches, the checking becomes even more, not to mention the needle they have to stick in there, to numb it first.
Then of course, there is the 3 hour feeding, and the nurses in between who come and check your blood pressure and pulse, and check on baby. Then there is that dreaded first night home, where the baby does nothing but cry all night, and you spend the night awake, nursing and cradling, or like me laying there with bubby on my stomach. You panic at every noise, you sleep with one ear open, listening to make sure your baby is still breathing, you still can't really get comfortable in bed, because your body aches, you have to get up and change the sanitary pad every hour, because the blood is so heavy that it just can't be ignored. You don't have time to have a shower because all you want to do is sleep, you look at your house work and begin to cry because you know you need to vacuum but baby wants a feed once more.
As well as all of this, you have to entertain the endless stream of visitors, you have to put on a brave face and tell them how much your loving motherhood, where in actual fact all your thinking is, I just want sleep. And then the minute you close your eyes, your baby thinks now is the time to play, and wants company. Oh and of course there is the endless supply of nappy changes, clothes changes (both you and baby due to that lovely white vomit that they leave everywhere) and bathing.
So after all this do you honestly think women would want sex?
Don't get me wrong, it calms down, and mum's we get in the rhythm of things, but books like what Gina Ford have written is ridiculous. Her reasoning is that men feel neglected and need intimacy, but you know what, intimacy doesn't have to involve sex!
Intimacy can simply be laying in bed, cuddling, talking about how each partner is doing. It can be that he holds her hand while she feeds, to some women (me included) intimacy is hubby picking up the vacuum cleaner and helping me out while I do yet another nappy change. My husband calls housework foreplay... but maybe we have just been married for so long ha ha.
But guys if you are feeling like you are left out, then do something about it, actually talk to your wife, sit and give her a cuddle, turn the television off and rub her feet. Ask her if she needs some help, could you take over and feed baby. I can guarantee as you fill her love tank up and help her and take some of the pressure away, she will be more inclined when she is physically able to give you a jolly good shagging!!
Love you all
Sam
xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment