It's a nice thought really... And begs the question does revenge work for you?
I have thought the thought "I would kill anyone that hurt my children".... but why? If I kill them then they don't suffer, the biggest revenge I can have is them to be constantly looking over their shoulder or in a jail cell still looking over their shoulder. The best revenge I can have is to have them live with their choices for the rest of their life.
I was thinking the other day about the two boys that set the black Saturday fires here in Bendigo. Their actions killed one man, took out 64 houses and damaged many more. They were 14 when they set the fire. My eldest boy is 14 and there are times I think his brain has completely fallen out the side of his head. He doesn't think.
When the news came out the boys had set the fire there became this lynch mob mentality. They wanted to go out and get the boys and string them up and skin them alive. I never understood how people can get so angry that they would want to hurt a child. These boys have to live with the consequences their entire lives, they have to go through life knowing that their not thinking moment killed a man, and devastated a town. They have to go through life looking over their shoulder, wondering if someone will find out. Isn't that enough revenge?
But is it right that we take solice in this thought? Should we be satisfied knowing that the mental state of these boys will slowly degrade and sink them into depression so deep that the possibility that they will commit suicide is so high? Should we be glad of this? I'm not so sure that we should be.
We make comments about teen suicide, but could guilt be some of what drives them to suicide? It doesn't have to be a guilt as big as what is on these boys shoulders, but it could be the guilt of being gay in a religious family, it could be the guilt of cheating on a girlfriend/boyfriend, it could be the guilt of failing school in an education focussed family.
Guilt is a very strong emotion, and can do a lot of damage to a person. I have felt guilt so strong, that the only way out that I could see at the time was suicide. However, being a bit older I pushed down my embarrassment and asked for help. But had I felt this same crushing guilt when I was 15 I"m not sure the outcome would have been the same. And I'm not sure that I would be typing to you now.
So the point? The point is, when we are so hell bent on seeking revenge, we are missing a chance to forgive and forge a friendship, or are missing that the guilt that a person might feel will be our own revenge.
But I'm still pondering on this, as I still struggle with the idea of revenge. I must admit if my child was molested then I'm not sure how I would react, I don't imagine it would be as peaceful as I would like, and I often question what happens when a person does something and their is no guilt? What do you do then? Well I don't know and welcome any suggestions.....
Love you all
Sam
xxx
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