Relational Humans

"Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we've put it in an impossible situation." ~Margaret Mead







How so very true.

When did it become natural for people to live in a home, with their two point four children hours away from their families?

How many of you know your neighbours? How many of you live just down the road from your families? Hell how many of you live in the same community as your family?

We as humans are such relational beings, we are wired that way.  When we are lonely it can cause mental illnesses such as depression, which then can lead on to other mental illnesses. 

But why do we insist on secluding ourselves from those that can prevent us from being lonely.  Sometimes I think that social media's have been a degredation on our society, but then in another way I think these programs have stopped many people from being lonely.

But how is it that we can know people from the other side of the world, yet don't know those who live right next door to us?

I remember growing up having bbqs at my house, with our neighbours, extended family and my parents friends.  And it is something that as an adult that I have really missed.  I enjoy having company, I'm a real social butterfly, I love to be surrounded by loads of people.  I miss having my family close, my cousins all over Australia.  I miss the Boxing Day bbqs, I miss the connection.  It's the Gemini in me.

I have always said that I would happily live in a commune.  And this alone is an interesting thought.  In February of last year I went to New Zealand, and as part of that trip went to a place called Ngati Awa Christian Community, which is a community of people who live together, and farm the land, living off the land.  It was interesting to see that the bond among those people was so strong.  It was truly amazing.

I live two hours away from my family, and I see the bond that my brother Jack and sister Karen share, and wish I had that same bond.  The self loathing side of me thinks that maybe there is something wrong me, but the jealous side of me wants that too.

I love Bendigo, and don't want to move back, as I have found my home.  I thought that I had found that new extended family, when I began working here in Eaglehawk just after the bushfires, but once I left there, most of the people left me.  I realised that the friendships I thought I had forged were simply based on work, and that outside of work, we really didn't have a lot in common.  I really liked these people, they were very friendly and loving.  But our relationship was only work deep. 

So why have we done this to ourselves? Why have isolated ourselves so much that we become dependant on a social media to fill that void that we feel?

I need friends, I need contact, I need to have people around me, I need to have people drop in and have coffee with me (not that I drink coffee).  Late last year I put out an ad on Landshare Australia, to see if anyone would like to come and share my land with me.  I have a quarter of an acre, I have a few fruit trees, and I have a huge chook house.  I put that offer out there, that if people wanted to come and plant a plot of veggies, a fruit tree, or some poultry in my back yard, and come and share with the fruit and veggies I grew.  I asked if people would like to join me in sharing my eggs, my jams, my bread that I make.  I wanted to set up a community myself, some people who had similar interests to me that we could build a friendship and enjoy our time outdoors.

I had loads of interest from people all over the world... except Bendigo!!

Have I really moved to the most secluded city in Australia?  Or is it that we are just so filled by the media of bad things happen, con artists, rapes, murders that we are too afraid to build friendships with strangers.

I have a question for you, do you ever look at cars when you are driving, look at the drivers and think, that's just a friend I haven't met yet? I do.  It's one of the things that keeps me from feeling lonely.  That in some way, I might just meet that person driving and we might become great friends.

So you wanna be my friend?

Love you all

Sam
xxx