Ok I apologise up front for this depressing post. I'm just so frustrated at the moment, and need to let it out. It's what I do!!
My ideal weight according the doctor is 60kg. I currently weight 77kgs more than that. I hate being fat, I'm not sure that there is anyone out there that actually enjoys being fat. A sumo wrestler maybe but then I'm not sure as I don't know any sumo wrestlers to ask.
Well I want to make a difference, I want to lose weight, I don't want to be fat. I hate it!! But it's so damned hard to lose weight, not because I can't eat right, I know that I can do that. It's the exercise bit. I love exercising, and if I was skinny I know that I would be a gym junkie. But it's hard when your fat, people feel they have the right to say nasty comments.
I don't understand this. I have tried to lose weight so many times, but end up giving up because I become so self conscious about walking anywhere. And lets face it I just don't have the room in my house to be able to put a home gym in. I remember one time when I was walking, I had two men walking behind men, laughing very loudly and making comments about how my arse moved. Then another time I was walking, and a man commented how he felt there were two women in my dress.
Why do they need to do this? It's so deflating!! And makes you want to give up! And it has every time. I don't understand the need to put people down. I'm out there trying to lose the weight so that I don't look like there are two women in my dress, so wouldn't it be nicer if they actually said well done rather than a nasty comment.
And it's easy for people to say well just don't listen, don't take it in, don't let it hurt you or discourage you. But it's not so easy to actually do that. Why is it that it's normal to see skinny people exercising, by walking, riding a bike or at the gym. But you never see a fat person doing it. I think the reason for this is simply because like me they feel so self conscious about getting out there and facing the ridicule of arseholes.
I had a giggle today, because I'm on twitter. I am following Corey Feldman the 80's actor. And I noticed that he had written to a heap of girls to send him a message on facebook and he would add them as friends. I took particular notice of the girls he was adding, they were all blonde skinny little things, that had barely any clothes on. So I sent him a message asking if he added fat girls too because we need celebrity love too. I haven't heard back...
Anyway I have set up a weight loss facebook page, and hopefully we might get some people want to support me in my weight loss, if a whole group of bbw's are walking then let them see make nasty comments then.
So here I sit listen to Adele a very gorgeous bigger woman.... don't tell my husband, I'd turn lesbian for her!!!
Anyway.....
Love you all
Sam
xxx
You are an amazingly beautiful woman and the next time someone comments about you when you walk give them a mouthful of f's and c's. They are not expecting you stand up for yourself and if you go off like a crazy woman they won't hang around for long. It is hard to ignore nasty people but you are strong and you are making the right steps towards a great life style change. Keep up the great work and let me know if there is anything I can do to help or support or anything you need. We love you too much to lose you young xx
ReplyDeleteFor some reason it's not posting comments, but my lovely sister Karen, wrote this:
ReplyDelete"
You are an amazingly beautiful woman and the next time someone comments about you when you walk give them a mouthful of f's and c's. They are not expecting you stand up for yourself and if you go off like a crazy woman they won't hang around for long. It is hard to ignore nasty people but you are strong and you are making the right steps towards a great life style change. Keep up the great work and let me know if there is anything I can do to help or support or anything you need. We love you too much to lose you young xx"
And thank you. I love you xxx
Ok now it's working LOL
ReplyDeleteGo Sam. Your honesty is inspirational :) I battle battle with this to - but for me it's the eating bit. I love the comfort I get from eating. I've started following an intuitive eating approach. I probably won't lose weight quickly - but it seems to be starting to sort my head out a little. Loving the energy and enthusiasm you're approaching this with :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Caz, I think all issues around weight are emotional ones, and if we can sort out our emotional, the weight loss or gain comes with it.
ReplyDelete